SOCelebrity

I am so excited TRL is finally going off the air; I think I may have a party. I think I will. I will have a party, even if it’s just me celebrating by myself. I will have some Doritos in bowl and I’ll serve drinks. Oh I be so excited! It’s like finding out that dog fighting ring down the street is being shut down. Finally, the mindless torture of music for profit has come to an end.

I never much cared for it. It was so pointless to watch in the first place. They showed maybe four seconds total of the actual videos. Only four seconds because most videos that made it on the show were so ridiculous if they showed five or six seconds people would pull out firearms and start mass riots in the streets. The last time I flipped it on I saw they were premiering a Hilary Duff video. I thought if Aretha Franklin’s career could only see this it would roll over in its grave. Sure, some of Hilary’s songs are catchy, but so is Chlamydia; doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good thing.

I think MTV got HIV along time ago. Its programming health has just deteriorated. Who they are marketing to I absolutely cannot understand. I’m technically still within its target demographic range yet I find it totally idiotic.

“Music Television….” I say, “Why then am I watching four guys in a bus date the same girl in two minute intervals before she screams ‘NEXT!’?”

It makes no sense. If MTV is where it’s at I want nothing to do with it. No dumb-ing down for me thank you very much. I enjoy my intelligence.

I think the fact that the film Napoleon Dynamite was produced by MTV really speaks for itself. If someone were to ask me what that movie was about they would get a blank stare. For once in my life I would have nothing to say. I have not a clue. It was two hours of me sitting on the couch repeating to myself “what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.” The fact that the movie did so well speaks to the intelligence of the average American. This is what people chose to spend their free time viewing? This is what people chose to spend their hard earned money on at the movies?

If that’s the case, then I imagine the news that TRL has finally been cancelled will not greet most with the elation is has filled my soul. I imagine it will greet many in the form of great sadness. I imagine many will not be throwing a “Thank Jesus They Finally Canceled That Crap” party. Instead they will grieve the day when they are forced to watch a music video in its entirety. Oh heaven forbid.

Perhaps though, just perhaps, if we are all forced to watch an entire video it will start a music revolution. Perhaps after being forced to actually listen to more than four seconds of a song by Hilary Duff or Ashlee Simpson people will cry out for music that doesn’t suck. The music industry can stop blaming illegal downloading for poor sales and finally say to itself “Wait just one minute here! Maybe Brooke Hogan didn’t deserve a record contract. Perhaps we should have thought things through more clearly before we signed Lindsay Lohan to a three record deal. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps!”

I know that won’t happen. It would be too good. Things that revolutionary don’t happen without a mob protest. I’m free on Thursday, anybody else down?

Peace and love –