SOCelebrity

Do I think George Bush has herpes? Absolutely. How could he not after he spent the last eight years systematically fucking every single person in this country, man, woman and child, in the ass?

But we are now a people united once again under the new administration of President Obama. The past is in the past, it has no power here! That is unless you are one of the millions who have found themselves unemployed, homeless, bankrupt, or lost everything in the collapse of the stock market. It’s all in the past unless you happen to have not yet had the pleasure of being born. No, you future generations will not have the delight of opening the door of your home to see the Publisher’s Clearing House gentlemen standing there with a check for you. You will hear the doorbell ring and open the door to the fine folks at the Federal Reserve congratulating you on inheriting ten trillion dollars in debt!

“I don’t quite understand, why am I receiving this?” They will say as we scoff; why it all makes so much sense.

“Because our banking system couldn’t regulate itself, so now you get to pay off the billions of untraced, unallocated funds we pumped back into it to ensure the executives received their bonuses before everything went to hell.”

But the past is in the past, as long as nobody looks east. It’s a hell of a mess over there.
Someone started a war or something, whole area went straight to Hades in an oil barrel.

I was very excited watching the inauguration of our new leader into office. Until today. I hear he has plans to shut down Guantanamo. Great, isn’t that just what we need! Millions already out of jobs and now this! Here I was thinking the unconstitutional torture industry was a sure bet for career growth and expansion. What next, Abu Ghraib? They were finally working out all the kinks with the water boarding and what not.

I see he also plans on getting rid of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. I hope he is aware that policy was the only thing holding our army together. As soon as we let the faggots in there the whole thing is going to turn into a butt fucking, sausagefest sodomy parade.

Yes, I think I can see why so many people on FOX NEWS have compared him to Hitler these past few months. Promoting equality was exactly what Auschwitz was constructed for. It all makes sense to me now. It all makes sense to me now…

- Michael