ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY
Nobody will ever guess what I did today, nobody. It was so out of character for me even I was shocked.
I ate lunch in the student center at school…at a table with other people. I know you’re surprised as well. I couldn’t believe I was doing it; a very out of body experience is how I could best describe it. Usually I eat in my car alone listening to NPR. I find the voice of the host of Fresh Air refreshing and calming. But that gets old after a while and today something called me to be social.
The thing that scares me most is that I enjoyed myself. I sat there, enjoying my chicken pita (who knew the student center served food, I didn’t!) and thought “well this is really nice.” Usually I engage in a rigorous conversation with the radio.
But listening to the news becomes a little depressing after a while. I don’t know if anybody is aware but things aren’t going very well with the economy. From what I gather a lot of people are pretty scared. I try to understand and sympathize with what a lot of people are going though but I suffer from a real disconnect to this particular situation. I’ve never made more than $7.25 an hour, I live in my parents basement and own nothing. I own absolutely nothing. I really have nothing to lose. You can’t lay someone off that doesn’t have a job and you can’t repossess a car that I don’t own. I just drive it into stationary objects, doesn’t mean I paid for it.
A lot of people say “wait, you don’t work?” Uh, no I don’t. I’m on sabbatical thank you very much. My last job had worn me out. I said I need a break from this working nonsense. Who knew two weeks would turn into five months? I sure didn’t.
A lot of people say “doesn’t that contradict your standard of only dating someone that has a job?” Uh, no it doesn’t. Once again: I don’t work. Someone in the relationship has to have a job to buy me things. Someone has to “bring home the bacon” as it were. I hate to use that expression as I personally do not much care for feasting on swine. I know, people say “but don’t you enjoy ham?” That is true. I do love me some ham but I tell myself it’s from the cow.
I used to have a job. I worked at H&M, another fine Swiss company importing incredibly shitty products to the United States. Everything they sell is two threads away from being assemble-it-yourself clothing. It’s the Ikea of fashion. They fired me because I chose to educate myself. Yeah, hah, imagine that. They found out I wanted to make more than minimum wage folding $19.90 sweaters for the rest of my life and they fired me. They found out I didn’t want to wind up a bitter crusty bitch who looked back at my life and was filled with nothing but regret wondering “how the frick did I end up thirty-two years old working here?” No. I will wind up a bitch and I will wind up bitter I can almost assure you (I’ve already begun laying the groundwork for that project), but I will not wind up crusty and filled with regret. Those types of people wind up taking their frustration and dissatisfaction with their life out on everyone around them.
I’m surprised those creepy historical fanatics aren’t a little more excited about the recent demise of our economy. I am. I’m very excited. I had spent so much time sitting in history class reading about the Great Depression imagining what it would be like living back then. I no longer have to imagine. I can just drive down the street where there used to be people buying things and now there are just rows of empty buildings.
I knew things were getting rough when I drove by an empty building and remembered there used to be a Starbucks there. That’s when it hit home. It hit home that should I suddenly crave a Carmel Macchiato I would have to drive two more miles down the road until I came to the next Starbucks. Tell me these aren’t hard times and I’ll show you a reality check. Tell me these aren’t hard time and I’ll tell you to look out your window. When you see regular people who own homes and drive half way decent cars going into a Wal-Mart on their own accord to save a few nickels…the economic decline has hit crisis mode. No, Wal-Mart is no longer simply for those living in trailer parks or government subsidized housing: it is the new face of the new American dream.
- Michael
